Stan Kobayashi vs Andre the Giant Panda
Kushiro Seiundai Gymnasium, Kushiro, Japan
(reviewed 10/24/2017) Move over, Jack London: here’s the definitive tale of man vs nature. The mightiest of gaijin, he of the Western Lariat, Stan Kobayashi comes face to face with a monstrous beast, a bear over ten feet tall. These behemoths of the ring crash into each other with great ferocity, swinging their mighty clubbing arms with breathtaking power and speed. Stan is able to fell the terrible beast but it rises once more, razing the cowboy with a brutal headbutt, nearly flattening him with a massive splash. Andre’s manager, the villainous Grand Wizard, slips a loaded elbow pad over the beast’s paw and the referee protests the blatant cheating. The referee receives a decimating lariat from the gigantic brute as well as a lashing from Stan before calling for the bell, fleeing the ring. Together the two warriors slay a bevy of ring crew workers who rush the pair until a few handlers are able to lure Andre away with a stalk of bamboo and Stan cuts a promo, demanding a rematch. Seven stars.