Zack Sabre Jr vs Michael Elgin
Logan Square Auditorium, Chicago, Illinois, United States
(reviewed 08/05/2017) These two always have their matches together highly-praised and highly-touted. I don’t really know why. They’re not good together. In fact, they’re outright bad here. Both men ply their trade here, Elgin doing his usual sort of heavyweight/puro spots, Zack slithering around on the mat and using a bunch of striking to get his opponent down there. Neither one of these men do their usual stuff particularly well here, but they keep it fast and heated to make up for that, and for the first few minutes I thought that it was fine. Sadly, that heat and celerity comes with it a whole bunch of obnoxious screaming and A LOT of bad bumping from one man in particular. What’s more, there’s just nothing here of any real consequence. Elgin continues to strip one of my favorite styles of wrestling of any substance, electing to just take bits and pieces from others instead of applying effort to something of his own. Zack slips in and out of submissions too fast to register any sort of meaning or drama and manages to throw in a few dozen noodly kicks for good measure. Because of how fast they’re working and for how long (19 minutes, which fucking shocked me when I checked, because it feels like twice that), there’s a lot of inconsequential spots here that somehow get the big melodramatic facials and the standing ovations and oh my god it’s just so fucking gross. Returning to a theme from Elgin’s match against Riddle from AAW EPIC, there’s a spot here that feels like the finish and would work marvelously as that. After getting his arm worked over for the whole match (which, I must bafflingly, surprisingly admit, he sells quite well and it is far and away the highlight of the match) and eating a few strikes from Zack, Elgin snaps and floors his opponent with a clothesline that sends Zack ping-ponging out to the apron. Feeling his moment, Elgin rushes over and yanks Zack over to the corner, legs vibrating in anticipation, before hoisting him up and slamming him down with an avalanche Falcon Arrow. It’s a great spot and the crowd eats it up, but of course, because they have to do more, Zack kicks out. And they go like six minutes longer! Six minutes after the climax of the match! Man, I don’t even know what to say. This is just the most insipid, tedious, overbearing, lowest common denominator match I have seen in a while. Avoid this match like the plague. I mean it.